While it’s been 7 days since Barathan has left us, I’m still not coming to terms with his passing. Perhaps I don’t want to, as his memory is still too dear for myself, and many others both here in Australia and beyond.

I am one of the very few who has travelled with Barathan from his Montessori days, and throughout my youth. From kindergarten at Colombo Hindu College, then at Year 2 at Chavakachcheri Hindu College, and finally from Year 7 at St John’s college until the O-Levels.

During this time, I can safely say that those were the best memories of my childhood days and my life in Jaffna. We were a duo in the little town, passing together through schools, tuitions, sports, and temples - we always had something going. Barathan was the handsome, well dressed, calm and smart boy. Within Barathan’s family circle, I’m known as ‘Barathan’s friend’ rather than my own name. It goes to show that friendship with him was something that became part of who you were.

However, I saw Barathan in a completely different perspective after he moved to Canada. Above all, was a quality that many of us have seen first hand – an ability to rediscover and affirm our friendships. With communities displaced across the globe and restarting life, with overburdening commitments, Barathan dedicated an enormous amount of time and effort to bring people together. There is a stark difference in getting reacquainted when we see people and making a focused effort to bring people to a fold. What Barathan did was the latter. Barathan remembered events from the past - things that had happened 30 years ago - and replayed them, reminiscing with others, to reform bonds. He could take the smallest, most mundane details and turn them into special memories – whether than be the colour of the bicycle you had 30 years ago or the time you usually finished tuition. We always wondered how he found time to talk to every person, no matter how distant. I suppose he truly believed in the power of human connection, genuine relationship without any expectations. With this intention, he did not consider it as time spent, rather a routine.

Another key quality with Barathan is that it is never about him, it was always about others. Never hesitated to play the role when the joke was on him. There were so many moments of Barathan being Barathan. Friends loved his quirky poses, actions and moves – with many captured in photos for us to reminisce. Then, there were Barathan’s jokes. The classic Barathan’s laugh he started off with before he ever uttered a word. People didn’t need to listen to the actual joke to laugh along.

He will be remembered as the one person who single-handedly reestablished the friendships within the Chavakachcheri community of those who were born around 1974 and were students at St John’s. All this, with his unconditional love for his family and relatives compounded the might of Barathan’s emotional capacity. When I say unconditional, he believed everyone was deserving of love and kind-heartedness, and he provided it.

A situation where such a beautiful human being is not among us is unfathomable. Coming to terms with his passing, moving past those memories, does not seem fully possible, and will likely not happen to me. However, I will seek solace in knowing I have had the privilege to share so many special moments with him as his close friend. - Prakash